Nothing is impossible with God.

As some of you may know I moved to the south (which constantly makes me feel like a melting snowman) I remember that I used to love moving as a young child. Always ready to embark in a new adventure, a new chapter. I felt brave and courageous. The sky and beyond was the limit. I felt unstoppable. I was so strong in my faith and I was facing a world full of possibilities. I wouldn't allowed people's words hurt me. I was always myself I never felt I had to change. My motto was 

Psalm 139:14 

              I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

Deep in my heart, I believed that verse to be true. And God makes no mistakes. But, as I got older and put to the test; the bullying started and my feelings changed. I slowly became broken... The words,the names and the stuffs they would say started to one by one inflicting pain in me. Like a bee sting. Constantly injecting venom, it was poison to my body. Now to stop it you have to remove the stingers. I couldn't! It was stuck and the more I tried the more I made it worse. I started to shut down. I was locked up and was a slave to my emotions. I had become my worst enemy. I would go in my room and cry and stare at the wall. I was alone, tired and most of all broken. I builted so many walls and barriers around me so that no one could every reach me. It was my way to protect myself. There was also times that I would be so desperate for that feeling of belonging, to matter to someone that I would use the little strength I had left and put down my barriers to invite someone in and they would abandoned me. Back to square one I was, to realized that they were not my friends. I had no friends! I was lonely. In desperation I was looking everywhere...but at the wrong places. I turned to my next resource and shamefully it wasn't God. I didn't have a good relationship with him at the time. (I'll explain later). I turned to books I adore books to this day. My room is 98% books don't judge me. But yes I love books. Every time I would read them it was a escape from my life and what I was going through at the time. It was like a portal I would pretend that I was part of the story. I was everything I wanted to be: popular, cool and pretty. Because in real life I wasn't even close to being popular. I was that kid that could walk of the face of the earth and no one would notice. I certainly wasn't cool. Most of all I had no self esteem nor confidence therefore I thought I was ugly. My relationship with God was horrible. I had so much frustration toward him. Why? I felt like he failed me. I was one big mistake! God went from being my BFF to a stranger, a enemy. ( yes, it's a strong word I know, but I'm being honest) I would yell stuff like "God why is this happening to me!?!" Or "Dont you love me?" As you could see I was pretty angry. I was questioning His mighty plan for me. Because I was unable to see it, feel it. It just didn't make sense to me that He would put me on this earth to feel that much pain. Who does that? Stuck and tormented with emotions again that leaves me broken. Then, everything change...I lost my favorite guy in the whole world. No, not a boyfriend (if I had one...Oh my! My dad would...hmm there's probably kids reading so let's just say my dad would flip.;) ) So, back to what I was saying. My dad deployed for the 4th time and I was truly devastated. He was the one who kept me floating, kept me going. He and my mom. I have always been a daddy's girl. And when he left I was shattered. The night after he left I prayed, "Lord if you are here then send me a friend."  Then the first day of fourth grade rolled around and everything changed... I walk to the bus stop preparing for the worst. As I waited of course I had my nose in a book. I saw someone walk over. He was a boy my age waiting for the bus. Then, he said "I love that series!" Then, I looked up and that's how it began. We talked and talked about books. For the first time in what seemed like forever I didn't feel alone. I felt happy. We sat together on the bus talking about books of course. That day we became great friends! And it was only the beginning of God's blessings because a few days later my brother walked in the house after exploring our new neighborhood, and told me he met a boy that he used to play football with and I should rag along with him because he has a sister and she's my age! I rushed out to met her she was just as shy as I was. We became great friends. So much amazing things happened to me in nine months. I thank God for all he gave me. I was still missing my dad so much. But God was always there for me! He never left me ...I left Him! Because I got so caught up in my emotions that I was blind to all the beautiful things around me. I forgot that all this time He was working on me, He was building me up! All the heartaches I had He would heal. I devoted so much during that time that my connection with God became so powerful. That I unclock what God had planned for me. I started going to a girls study. I felt so strong in God I couldn't contain it then on July 22 2012 I dedicated my life to God, I felt His calling. I felt the need to make it official, before many witnesses that I would no longer live for myself but for my God. I was baptized!! I started my eternal walk with God! What a life changing experience! My life didn't become struggle free, I still had awesome and not so awesome moments/experiences but I felt I had the tools to deal with it better. Later that year, my friends moved away...but thanks to technology I'm able to talk to her a lot even though she lives far away. The bond is still there ! And sadly when he moved away I lost his contact information we haven't spoke since. I was heartbroken but I was stronger now that I'm relying on God . God was the answer all along. Before I was blinded by my emotions...there was no place for him in my heart, and I thought God was trying to make my life miserable but no He was trying to lead me to him. He had so much in stored for me. Without God I wouldnt be here quite frankly I wouldn't even be alive. I had no desir to continue on what seemed to be a miserable journey. But God catch me right on time, saved me from me, saved me from those feelings that the enemy throws at me from time to time..."that you're not good enought" Truth is: You are good enough my friends! Remember there's no mistakes: 

Psalm 139:14 

              I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful,   I know that full well.

So on my way I go, to fufill God's will, thats what I was created to do. I apologize... Some of you have it so much worse than I do. But all this to say, no matter how bad it gets NOTHING IS EVER IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD. He loves you so much so don't give up. I'm here for you, God is here for you and He will forever be there. Learn from my mistakes and make room for Him. My life is limited here and so is yours let's go make in impact in others lives! God ADORES you he is your number 1 fan. I met many other amazing people in my life. I met a amazing girl at the girl study who recently sent me a amazing-amazing package. It so heartwarming to keep in touch with loved ones. Remember the perfect place to start is to Pray. To build up a great relation ship with your Father in heaven. 

Amen!!! So go out there and have a amazing week. Remember if you struggle with anything just private message me okay? Okay. I will gladly and proudly pray for you. ;) love, Jade